


Demons and Champions

by tigereyes45



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2018-12-06 01:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11590101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigereyes45/pseuds/tigereyes45
Summary: Varric finds out Hawke may begin dealing with demons. He is not happy about it, of course.





	1. Arguing to Get Through

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pen99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pen99/gifts).



It was one fight of many. However this one fight would change everything. Hawke had just defeated the Arishok. She was named champion of Kirkwall despite the fact she was a mage. Varric was bewildered. He was happy that his friend had won the day, but there was a way her eyes became aflame in the aftermath. For a brief, confusing moment Varric was not sure if who he was looking at was really his friend or someone else entirely. He pushes away the thought as the crowd cheers, rushing forth. He charges along with them, trying to keep ahead. His short legs fail him as the taller beings begin to rush by. He uses his height to push around and through their legs. Sometimes a lady would shout as he shoved their hips by. All so he could get to her faster.

As he finally makes a break through the crowd he tries to steady his feet. To make it look as if he was not in a rush to check on her and see if she was indeed, unharmed. Hawke did not appreciate people showing concern for her health when all it was only a few scratches.

“Varric!” He hears her shout his name. Relief washes over him.

He tries to wear his well known smile. The one that has earned him many patrons for his stories at the Hanged Man before HAwke and her crew ever came around. A smile he knew would show Hawke that he never doubted her abilities.

“What took you so long?” She asks glaring at the encircling figures that made the crowd. All cheering, showering Hawke in adorations. “Come on. I want to get out of here.” She declares pushing an array strand of hair from her face.

Varric shrugs. “Right behind you Hawke. Are you sure you want to leave all of these fans behind?” He asks knowingly. He was teasing, Hawke knew this. Yet she gives him no response as she shoots another glare at the deafening crowd.

Fenris and Isabella took up the rear behind the others. Aveline and Varric stood right beside Hawke walking with her the whole way back to her house. Merrill and Anders were both silent in the middle as the group walks. Actually everyone was being oddly silent. It worries Varric. A part of him knew that it was probably just shock and insecurity that silences them in this moment. They all did just watch Hawke plunge her staff through the Arishok's body. Yet another part of him felt that they too had seen what Varric had only managed to catch a glimpse of.

“Alright we’re here. I don’t need you all to stay here and babysit me.” Hawke growls as she opens her front door. Aveline, ever as courteous as always, shoves her way in the door after Hawke. Varric follows suit, choosing to believe that Hawke would enjoy his company much more than that of the angry ginger. He looks back towards the door only to see Isabella was walking away, Fenris and Anders staring at Hawke’s back with a mix or worry and anger in their eyes of being shut out yet again. He almost felt bad for them as Merrill closes the door from outside of it.

“Hawke what was that?!” Aveline demands as she slams her fist against the wall beside the fireplace.

“What do you mean?” Hawke asks pretending to have no clue.

“What happened back there Hawke? I-it was almost like you weren’t you.”

“Of course I am me. Who else would I be?”

“Hawke,” her voice sounds genuine as she frowns ever so slightly. “That wasn’t you.”

“Yes it was me. That was all me actually. He wanted to fight in single combat. I obliged him. It was either kill or be killed Aveline, and after what happened with the viscount. I was not about to let him do the same to me.”

Aveline crosses her arms. Her brows furrow, making that mom face that meant she was about to begin another lecture.

Varric walks past the two women to take a seat in one of Hawke's much too tall chairs. With a whine Hawke’s infamous mabari takes a rest towards the side of the chair. The ferelden dog had almost as much stories about him as Hawke had about her. The two were famous among the common folk and the upper nobles loved to spread gossip about the returned Amell and her peculiar Ferelden ways.

“Hawke I am worried about you. After what all has happened to you I am allowed to express my concerns.”

“And you have expressed them, but your concern is unnecessary. I am fine. I was strong enough to win. I am strong enough to live.”

Varric follows Aveline’s eyes to the dark door they wander on. “Have you gone in there?”

“No.” Hawke grits her teeth. “There is nothing in there that I need. Why would I go in there.”

“For closure.” Aveline presses.

“She is gone. I see no comfort that will come from rummaging through her things. I’ll leave them there for when Carver comes back. He will have to take leave from the wardens eventually to retrieve his share from mother’s will.” Hawke states. Varric knew she was deflecting. Using their mother’s will as a way to get her brother back home. Back to somewhere that she could keep an eye on him. She was worried. Varric could not blame her.

“Hawke are you sure you don’t need to take a poultice? Or would you rather me fetch a healing mage from the gallows?” Varric inquires as he points to the line of blood that was falling down her arm. Hawke reaches for her face and Varric takes notice of the now dried up blood that was on it. Right on top of the blue tattoo that had been there for as long as Varric had known her.

“Andraste’s knickers Hawke. You are bleeding. Why didn’t you say so when Anders was here?”

“I don’t need to be healed. It is just a scratch.” Hawke reassures. Varric does not miss the fact that she pushed her sleeve down a little farther on her arm. There was no point in hiding the blood after they had already seen it. Varric ponders on her game.

Aveline’s face was growing redder by the minute. Now was the time for intervention before words were shared and the two grew bitter at each other from well-meant concern that was ill-conveyed.

“Alright. If Hawke does not need Blondie then she does not need him. However I am sure we all could use some food. It is growing late and I don’t know about you two but I have had nothing to eat since before the situation with the Arishok and Hawke arose.”

Aveline shakes her head and rest her hands back on the pommel of her sword. “I have to go. After seeing that fight I am unsure of when I will next be able to eat.”

“Even more of a reason to join us.” Varric replies.

“I’m sorry, but” she glances at Hawke. “I think it would be best for me to take my leave now before I share the rest of what is on my mind.”

“Perhaps it would me.” HAwke agrees. Aveline rolls her eyes before she turns and leaves.

“Looks like it's two for dinner.” A whine call his attention. “Sorry, three.” Varric corrects patting their head.

Hawke frowns at the door. Clearly she liked how that whole conversation went even less than Varric did. He pats her arm. “Come on Hawke. Don’t worry she’ll be back around. You know she can’t stand the thought of you getting into trouble without her.” Varric reassures with a small smile. “Now what would you like to eat?”

Hawke shakes her head as she carefully pulls her arm free from his touch. “I am not hungry Varric. I’m just tired. Her eyes travel up the stairs towards her door. “Very, very tired.”

“I’ll let you rest then, but I will be here if you need me Hawke. You only ever have to ask.” He adds. She nods in understanding. He could tell by the way she walks up that she was weary and worn. That fight took much more form her then she would be willing to admit openly. He was use to her not sharing out loud the things that they needed to know about her and her health. That knowledge is the reason why he chooses not to leave. No for the night he would stay close by just in case/ He doubted very much that she would need him at all, but Varric felt better if at least one of them was here for her. He begins to cook himself and Hawke’s mabari some dinner. Afterwards he opens up a chest to take out the extra blanket and pillow that was stored within it.

It was late when he hears noise from her room. At first he was unsure if it was her or his imagination finally tearing free from his books. He was in the middle of jotting down notes on the fight between the arishok and Hawke when he heard the beginnings of a conversation. The red hue coming out from the top of her doorway calls his attention even more.

“Either I'm dreaming or that's a very bad sign.” He sets his book aside. When he stands he throws his legs to the left to avoid landing on the war dog. When no whine or growl meets his sudden action he takes that as his cue to continue moving.

Carefully but with what speed he could muster without alarming the possible occupants that may be holding Hawke inside of her room. Varric was moving with the assumption that their was infiltrators in Hawke’s humble abode. He was unaware that it was actually must worse.

“I can give you my strength but you know what I want.” A deep guttural voice states.

“And I told you. I am in charge. I won't give you my body. We can share it however. You take over when I need your strength, but then I get my body back.” That was Hawke’s voice. “I will decide when you come out.” Varric was at her door now. Slowly he pushes it open. Just enough so he could peer in. There was Hawke. She had her arms crossed and her back to Varric. Her white hair let down. From her clothes Varric could tell she had just risen out of bed.

The visitor growls. “We will continue this talk when we are alone.” That sounded as if he was leaving. He must've seen the door open. Shit, Varric thinks before deciding that he better play it off as if he had just woken up and was not listening in.

He stands straight and reaches for Bianca on his back. His hands grasp nothing and he curses. He must have left her downstairs in his rush to get to Hawke. Now he was thankful that it was no group of bandits for he was ill-equipped to deal with them without Bianca.

“Hawke?” Varric tries to sound sleep groggy as he opens Hawke’s bedroom door. Hawke twists around with her staff in hand.

“Varric it is not what it looks like.” She sounds definite. As if what was before him.was not really there. What he saw was the source of the red glow. A demon of wrath if he was remembering correctly from the one he faced with her. A demon that was much smaller than.the one they had killed or banished, or whatever happens to demons when Hawke met them. This one she was not engaged with. Not her conventional Hawke way at least. They had not been.fighting but talking. Varric blinks and then the demon was gone.

Slowly Varric looks to Hawke. His eyes soften and his fear changes to a plea. “Hawke no.” He begs. “Please tell me you are not thinking about dealing with a demon.”

She looks away from him to stare back at the spot the wrath had been a moment before. “I'm not thinking. I've decided.”

Varric shakes his head sadly. “Hawke I understand that you're angry but you can't go through with this. What about us, your friends? If you do this we would lose you. What would Carver say if he lost his sister to an abomination? Oh maker, the chantry.”

“You would lose nothing. I will still be me. The demon would listen to me and if it doesn't then I am stronger. I can make it listen or I'll just dispel it. I won't become an abomination. I won't be Anders. I will have control, and the chantry. Well I don't see why they would ever have to know. Right Varric?”

He shakes his head. “Hawke,” he begins again pinching the bridge of his nose. “l can not keep this a secret Edyiss. I won't. The others will have to know so we can all be ready just incase you're wrong.”

“I'm not.”

Varric sighs. “Hawke, why? Can you tell me that at least? Why do you feel as if you need this, it's,” he corrects “power?”

Hawke clenches her fist. “Because it works! I wasn't strong enough to save mother. If I was stronger I could have gotten there faster! If I had been strong enough to kill the ogre before it touched her, Bethany would be alive! Carver wouldn't be a grey warden if I had been strong enough to destroy that damn door! Do you know what are strong enough to do that? Demons! They throw boulders at us. Varric if I had that sort of strength then I wouldn't lose anyone else.” Varric slowly approaches Hawke. He understood why she was would say those things, but they were wrong. “Edyiss.” He calls her name so she would look back down at him. Her eyes were so beautiful. “Please?” He asks. Hawke complies by taking a seat on her bed. Varric pulls himself up onto it next to her.  “I want you to understand that there was absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent those misfortunes from happening and there is nothing you can do now to change them. I know you are upset.” He presses his hand on top of her own. “I know you are hurt but please realize that you are powerful on your own. You defeated the Arishok in single combat!” Varric says following it with a hollow laugh. “You are enough. So please don't deal with that wrath demon. I need my friend. I need you, Edyiss, to remain who you are.”

She laughs bitterly. Varric frowns. Was Hawke really so deadset on this? “You almost make it sound as if you love me Varric. Now we both know that's ridiculous. Especially since you are so obsessed with your dear Bianca.”

Varric frowns trying to ignore the slight pang in his chest. He hops off the bed and glares at her. “There is more than one kind of love, Hawke. Of all people I expected you to understand that.” He stops himself in her doorway. He takes one last long look at her. She was sitting pitifully on the bed. Her hair a mess. One knee pulled close to her chest as the other hung loosely off the bed. “If you don't love us at least love yourself Hawke.”

“Varric, could you close the door on the way out?”

“Of course Hawke. I'll make sure to send Daisy by as well.”

“Don't bother.”

Varric wants to say that if he can't get through to her then maybe Daisy could. Yet he knows Hawke better than that. He knows the champion well enough to know it will only cause her to push them all farther away. He didn't want that. He just wanted her, happy and well. The Hawke that would not be so plagued by demons of wrath as she was now.

Slowly Varric shuts the door. He hears it click and felt his heart grow heavier. He heads home, writing Aveline as soon as he was in his own room. He decides to leave out the demon, but strongly suggests that the red head kept a close eye on their friend. He does the same, watching her even more closely than he had before. His tale of the champion grew in fame as Hawke’s exploits went on. Life went on, even after the chantry mess caused by Anders. Hawke lived and he never felt it necessary to mention that night again. For Hawke seemed unchanged and if he was honest with himself he would admit to the hurt feelings that night brought with it. For as the years went by, Varric fell as well. He fell for the inquisition and what it offered. He fell for it's promises, and possibilities. He also fell for the one person it kept him from. Hawke wrote him not nearly as often as he would have liked her too, but the inquisition was still new. It was growing, maybe, eventually, it would even be safe enough for him to invite her to join. For he missed his champion, but her safety came first. As it had since Anders’ mistake. He longed for her, but he needed to make sure that no more demons would plague her nights. Even if he had to dispel all of them himself, first.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of the request. I can do nothing but offer an apology for taking so long on it, for anything else would be an excuse. I hope you enjoy.

It was strange to see Hawke again after so long apart. A welcomed sight no doubt, yet still odd. Varric worried that the young mage would not wish to come. He also worried that she would come as soon as he asked and then he would have to deal with the inquisitor and seeker much sooner than he would like to. Whether if it was fortunate or unfortunate that the latter happens, Varric was still unsure. Still they had already gone out and got Hawke’s warden ally. Yet during that journey the two spoke barely a word to each other. It left Varric with a feeling of discomfort.

“You are tuning out again.” Hawke comments as the two sit in the only pub around. “That has been happening a lot since I've arrived. Is there something else you want to discuss?”

Varric draws himself out of his thoughts to try and pay attention once more. “No. Just, haven't been getting a lot of rest lately.” It is a lie. There were plenty of things on his mind that he wished he could discuss with his old friend, but he simply could not find the words. A terrible affliction for a writer.

Edyiss gives them ‘that’ look. The look that means she is not buying his shit today. The same one she gives him when he tells an outlandish story and only she knows the truth. Basically how she looked at him every night in the Hanged Man. A look that use to hold amusement when she was happy. Now it held pain from him lying, and anger that he was not being forthcoming with his thoughts. In a different time he would have spoken the words right away. Back when they were all happier or maybe she was never really happy and Varric just hadn’t notice. He never meant a young Hawke. The one before the loss of their father and sister. Maybe if he had he would understand her better now.

“If you say so.” Edyiss looks away. Her hand rests on her chin and she look out towards the other patron of the pub. “There is more of a variety here than at the Hanged man, but none of them seem as rowdy.”

“Of course not. They are on their best behavior. The champion is here after all.” Varric teases. It was a weak attempt to ease the air between them.

Hawke sighs and rolls her eyes in her usual fashion. Varric looks down at her drink. She was drinking something strong. He could tell just by the smell that it was whatever The Bull usually brought to drink himself into a stupor on the poor days that he chooses too. Varric would need to talk to the people downstairs to make sure she doesn’t overdrink herself.

“Thank you for coming Hawke.” Varric steps a little closer to his champion. The woman that made off with his and the peoples of Kirkwall’s hearts.

“Why wouldn’t I come Varric? I have to keep my trusty dwarf safe after all.” There was that smile of hers. Long and toothy it takes up much of the lower half of her face. A smile that always comforted their friends. It personally made Varric feel like he could do anything.

“I don’t know. After one round with an immortal, undead magister ones tends to have enough.” Varric jokes, half meaning his words. His first job was to his friends. To keeping what remained of them safe and out of harm’s way. His second was to be the scoundrel dwarf of the inquisition. The one who hid Hawke, the red lyrium, and so many other secrets from the inquisitor’s forces. Hawke was the toughest person Varric had ever known so the night he saw her break apart Varric swore he would never allow it to get that bad again.

No one should go making deals with demons.

“You should know it takes more than one round for me to run off fearful.”

“No, it just takes almost getting pierced by the Arishok’s sword.” Varric jokes recalling a scene from memory that had terrified him. That day had shaken him to his very soul. Or perhaps it was to the very stone for him. A difficult thing to prove, if dwarfs had souls or stones.

“Hey that was gigantic. Plus I was out there on my own.” Edyiss argues spreading her hands out to show the length. Her arms did not reach far enough to accurately describe the size of that sword.

“Well you didn’t have to if you hadn’t accepted his challenge.” Varric points out.

“What was I supposed to say? Nah I’m gonna have my friends fight your friends while I still have to fight you.”

Varric raises his hands in defense. “Alright, alright. Good point.” He lowers his hands and looks over the inquisition from their perfect place on top of the barracks.

“So where does the mighty inquisition have me resting tonight?” Hawke asks not really seeming to care.

“In my room actually. It’s right above the inn.” Varric turns around to leans his back on the stones.

“In the attic, with that blonde boy.”

“Oh so you’ve met Cole. He’s a nice kid, Hawke.”

“I think I will have to find a different lodgings for tonight.” Her voice sounds wary at the thought.

“He’s not so bad once you get to know him. Sure he is a little creepy at first, but he’s a good kid. Besides my room is behind us. It is a room above the inn itself. No Cole.” Varric promises her. That seems to get Hawke to relax a little. “Don’t worry I can have them bring up a second bed.” Varric assures her.

“Varric if that was a problem I probably wouldn’t have stolen your bed back at the hangman so many nights.” Hawke shrugs as she reminds him of the many drunken nights she or her and Daisy had stolen his bed from him.

“Then perhaps I need another one brought up for me.”

“Most likely.” Hawke teases though they both knew she didn’t really mind sharing. Hawke had shared a bed with most of her friends before. At least once. Varric would never forget the night he visited Hawke’s mansion just to find her and Aveline asleep in Hawke’s bed with the giant mabari dog between them. Spying a few bottles on the floor by the bed Varric found the culprit and left.

“Well I’m tired now. It was a long journey Varric. Care to show me to your room?”

Varric offers her his arm. As she loops her own though his Varric leads her around the bin towards his humble abode.

“It’s not much, but it is at least private. Though the occasional prying eye does take a look at my letters. Only if she can get to them before me.” Varric explains as he shows her his messy bedroom. There was a bed in the center with a desk to its side. Two chair besides it as if he was expecting a guest any moment to look over his work. In a way he supposed he was. Despite the size of the inquisition it was incredibly lonely here. His crowds were larger but his close friends less. Varric would never deny that Blackwall was a decent fellow, and Sera plenty of fun, none were as close to him as Hawke and their friends had been.

“If you are tired feel free to rest. I am going out to the hall to see what the plans for tomorrow will be.”

“Alright, goodbye.” Hawke dismisses him without a second of hesitates.

Varric left his champion with a heavy heart. Tomorrow the inquisitor would most likely want to head out to confront the grey wardens. Bringing Hawke along with them. Varric needed to make sure that the inquisitor planned to bring him along as well. For Varric did not want Hawke to be out there on her own for this one. Since he was the only one here it was his job to watch after the friend Aveline and Carver left entrusted to him. When Varric wrote Hawke he had written them too, in case his first letter did not make it to its recipient. Carver was angry to find out Varric was asking Hawke to come to the Inquisition. Aveline had a calmer approach. Apparently the two were together during the whole mess.

When the writer found the soul he seeked his sentiments were shared. The inquisitor did not want to take Hawke anywhere without Varric. The reasoning behind the good news being that none of them knew Hawke as well as Varric did. So if something were to happen with a newally no one knew other then say one individual then it would always be wisest to bring that individual along. A sound point that Varric was pleased to not argue against. Apparently there would be some protest as to who else joins the trip. For the other allies had already brought forth concerns and requests. Not everyone would be as happy as he was, but perhaps enough would be satisfied.

Varric was never one to run unless his life was on the line. Since tonight was a clear night about inquisition’s forces Varric took a pleasant stroll back to the tavern. He hardly ever touched much when it came along to alcohol. For Varric learned young from his mother that addling the brain did little to help you in the long run. Perhaps that is why even though Aveline was the babysitter for the children during the day, Varric always watched after everyone at night. When even ole captain of the guards could take a break and relax. Still through the tavern was the shortest way to his room. He considers grabbing a glass for Hawke yet thought better of it. If she were asleep then there was no real need to wake her. Varric stops by the bar anyways to let them know not to let Hawke have to many of The Iron Bull’s specials. Then he continues on his short journey.

As he reaches the attic of the tavern, Varric expects to see Cole. The blonde spirit had recently gained a notoriety for messing with new guests. Apparently Hawke had already made his acquaintance. An encounter Varric felt positive did not go well without him there to stop warn either of his friends when to stop.

“Varric.” Cole whispers his name as the kid appears behind Varric’s back.

“By the maker Cole! You nearly scared me.” Varric shakes his head to clear his fight or flight response. It was just Cole.

“There’s a demon here.” Cole whispers looking up through the roof. Words mutter free from Cole’s mouth. Mutterings that Varric could not understand.

“What do you mean there’s a demon here?” Varric asks wondering why hadn’t the guards signal for danger already then.

“It was resting. I didn’t sense it. I need to get rid of it before it hurts someone.” Cole insists his volume raising. His words were clearer now, and already the boy was pulling his daggers free.

“Shit kid, are you serious?” The look Cole gives him was enough. He didn’t understand what joking was.

“Hang on I’m coming with you.” Varric pulls Bianca from his back and holds the weapon close to him. “Lead the way kid.”

“It’s in your room.” Leaving the words to echo in Varric’s head Cole disappears from site.

Varric was left befuddled for just a moment. When he could think properly about what Cole said that meant there was a demon after Hawke. As soon as that thought registers in his mind Varric feet were moving without having to be told. He slams the hatch up and runs the short distance from the barracks above the tavern to his room. Varric kicks the door open before his mind even registers to open it properly.

“Hawke!” He shouts her name hoping to wake her up so there was another hand in this fight, but instead Varric is meant with an unfamiliar sight. The room was eerily red as smoke floats at foot level around the room. On his bed lies the familiar form of Hawke. Or rather above it. Her body was floating in mid air. Her hair glowing a dark red as her teeth grind together.

“Hawke!” Varric shouts louder this time. He had to wake her up. Mages were vulnerable to demons in their sleep, if this was happening right now. If the possession had just started maybe he could save her.

Varric was no fool. He clings to Bianca tightly as he bounds over to the bed. With little effort Varric was standing on the edge of his mattress. Bianca dangling by his side in one arm as he reaches for Hawke with his other. He could almost reach her ankle. As he was about to jump a soft hand stops him. It was freezing to the touch, and Varric knew it was cold.

“Don’t touch her. The demon could pull her in. You have to fight it in the fade. I can fight it.” Cole explains as he reaches for Hawke’s floating form.

“Bloody hell kid I am not about to let you deal with this on your own! That’s my friend! I am going to help her!” Varric exclaims as he pulls his hand free from Cole’s grasp. Varric grabs onto Hawke’s lower leg and pulls her body down. She felt as light as a feather as she fell before him. Strands of her hair float about as Varric moves to hold her body down. He shouts for Cole to go get Cullen before he lost all vision and the room went dark.

His sense of hearing came back before his sight. In those few seconds of blindness Varric could only hear the voice of Hawke. She sounded furious. There was the same might and power in her voice as there had been the day she fought the Arishok. Yet Varric could hear fear hidden under all of her false bravado. Hawke was scared and she needed him. A laughter fills the room that Varric could only imagine was the voice belonging to the demon.

He has to fight to open his eyes. The light was brighter than he had expected to face in this fight. Since when was the fade so bright? It was truly moments like this that made Varric happy to be a dwarf. Despite all the cultural problems, and there were plenty, at least they did not have to deal with the fade every night like humans and elves.

“Hawke!” He calls out her name. Yet it was only when she asked him to stand that he realized he was on his back. Varric rolls onto his side before pushing himself up. He could feel something gathering up in his arm hair. He looks down to see he was on a very dry mound of dirt and sand. The fade it was in the minds of others, and it was still a dirty shithole.

Varric covers his eyes as he looks about. At the bottom of the mound was Hawke fighting what was very clearly a rage demon. The fucker was big, bigger than the Arishok. It’s flowing form standing straight as the hues in its outer layer changes colors. Hawke had fought plenty of demons before, but why was this one so much bigger compared to the others they have faced. Varric searches only for a minute before spotting his bianca lying on the ground right beside where he had been moments before. Varric loads her up and shoots one arrow straight through the demon.

It was a warning shout meant only to pull it’s attention away from Hawke. Yet the demon was still fixated on her. It moves through her flames, and ice without hesitation. In an attempt to run down the mound Varric’s feet end up sliding down the side of it instead. He loads Bianca again as he struggles to keep his balance up. “Hawke duck!” Varric orders as he shoots over Hawke’s head into the demon’s chest.

“Varric, stay back. You shouldn’t be here.” Hawke pushes him away as soon as he reaches the bottom of the mound. Varric lands on his butt and releases another arrow into the demon.

“Want do you mean Hawke? I’m not leaving you behind.” Not to mention he had no idea how to even escape here. “You need to wake up. This is a dream, and it’s winning in the real world.” Varric informs her as they dodge one of the demon’s attacks.

“What do you mean?” Hawke’s eyes grow wide as Varric explains the scene he happened upon with Cole.

“You need to wake up now Hawke. I can’t lose you, not like this. Carver would kill me.” Varric adds with a hollow laugh. Yet he wants to plea like a lovesick fool for her to wake up and live. If he were to be trapped in here, which maker he hopes isn’t true, at least she could escape. Perhaps waking her up would let them both escape.

“It’s too lake Varric!” Hawke cries out as she raises her arms to bring forth a lightning bolt.

His heart breaks. “What do you mean?” He asks loading up bianca and releasing one of his more powerful attacks.

“I already made a deal with it!” Hawke yells as the demon comes sarging forth.

No. She couldn’t have. She wouldn’t have. Varric tries to convince his ears that what they heard was a lie, but his mind is tossed back to the night he walked in on her and the wrath. He wants to get angry. To yell and shout about how she said she wouldn’t, but did she ever really agree not to. Yes she may not have made a deal with that demon, but she had made one with another. If the inquisition finds out Cassandra and Cullen would have her killed.

“Move!” Varric orders instead as he charges at the demon.

“Varric, stop.”

“Edyiss I don’t care if you made a deal. All I need is for you to wake up right now.” Varric can hear his own voice. He knew how cold it must sound to her. How awful it must feel, but her feelings were not his concern. Keeping her alive was the main objective. The demon, the deal, if they could survive tonight then it could be a problem for another day.

“Open your eyes bird.” A voice echoes throughout the area causing Varric to miss his next shot. “Soar up, escape. Run.” That voice it was Cole. At least the boy didn’t seem intent on killing her now.

“Varric! I’m sor-” Edyiss’ voice was cut off as Varric’s vision grows dark again.

As soon as Varric could feel his fingers he was pushing himself up. When he was sitting up on his knees he wipes at his face almost peeling his eyes open. He was back in his room. Hawke was underneath him. Her face was pale, but other then that everything seemed to be normal with her. Her breathing was steady, her eyes were slowly opening. Varric hovers above her, watching her every move as she wakes up. Cole was beside the bed. His daggers were still in his hands but he was less tense. Varric thought the fight was over, until Cole said the last thing VArric thought he would.

“You’re an abomination.” Cole notes causally. He said it as clearly as one would say the sky is blue. Not the tone a normal person would use to inform another of such a state as this.

Varric eyes fall back to Edyiss who was still under him. Her eyes look away. She refused to look at Varric or Cole. “He’s right Varric.”

“How long?” Varric asks, feeling his chest tighten over the question.

“Long enough for it to be irreversible.” Her voice was so calm as if it was all so matter of fact.

“Why?” Varric asks. He squeezes his eyes back. There had to be a reason. A way to make sense of this mess.

“I’m sorry Varric.” Was her only reply. Sorry won’t save her. Sorry wasn’t going to make her better.

“How often does it happen? What happened tonight.” Varric clarifies.

“Every night I fight it for control. This was the first time it got so close to winning.” Varric could feel her move underneath him. Varric wanted to lecture her. To confess to her. To joke and say how this was nothing compared to what they have been through. He wanted to know why. To see her feel genuinely sorry for this. To tell how cruel it was of her to tell such a mean-spirited joke. She was Hawke, this wasn’t a joke. She wasn’t any more sorry about risking her life then she would be about dying. The only thing Hawke feels sorry for was putting Varric’s life in danger. That was all he could expect from her.

“Fine then.” Varric slowly removes himself from being above her.

“Varric, don’t be,”

“Hawke you can not ask me to not be upset. I wish you would have told me.” He admits his face falling as his feet hit the ground. He pats Cole’s shoulder and tells the spirit to go and try to get some rest. “I can handle the rest from here. Oh, and please don’t tell the others. Okay kid?”

Cole drags his fingers along the brim of his hat before nodding yes. The young boy disappears before Varric. No doubt he was right in the tavern underneath them. Even listening perhaps.

“Varric where are you going?”

There she was. Sitting up in his bed, covered in sweat, and fear. It was not a sight of Hawke Varric enjoyed. He wanted her to sweat for a different reason, not because of a demon. “I am sitting Hawke, and writing. I’m telling the inquisitor that you have taken ill and can not join us on the trip tomorrow.” Varric states matter of factly. If she didn’t want to speak to him, that was fine, but he was not going to allow the inquisitor to find out.

“No. I’m going.” There was that defiant attitude of hers.

“No you are not.”

“Yes I,”

“Can you promise me this won’t happen again?” She closes her mouth. “That’s what I thought. I don’t want you going with them tomorrow. I’m going to pack up my stuff and we are leaving after the inquisitor already has in the morning.”

“Varric you can’t leave.”

“Watch me.” He would be damned before he would let Hawke going anywhere by herself in a state such as this.

“I am going tomorrow. You are coming with, aren’t you? If something happens you will be there to stop me, but Corypheus is my fault. I am responsible for doing all that I can to bring him down.”

“Letting a demon fool you counts as part of “doing all that you can” is it?”

Varric could picture her face falling simply from the change in her voice. Yet he refuses to turn around and look. No this was too much Hawke.

“Yes.” She whispers, and that was it. Varric could not stay in that room without letting his temper go.

“Well it shouldn’t Hawke. Andraste’s tits, this is too much. What are you saying? That it is okay to become a monster if it brings another down? No. You life is worth more than that, and you want me to be there so I can bring it to an end when you lose that fight in your head! I don’t think I can do that Hawke.”

“Varric,” a pause. Perhaps she was trying to find the best words to say. Mayhaps she truly was feeling a seed of regret. She should be feeling more of it, Varric couldn’t help but think. “You really are my closest friend.”

The final blow to what little was left of the aging dwarf. It felt as if he had gain decades of years on his shoulders tonight. He could not keep up the fight. At least not anymore tonight. “Fine Hawke, you win. I won’t stop you from going tomorrow, but if anything happens I want you to leave. I don’t want others seeing you like that.”

“I guess it would ruin the image of your champion.”

“No.” How could she say that? “I would ruin the image of someone I love.” He admits clutching his quill pen between his fingers. How could she think about that damn book now? When everything else was so much more important right now.

“Varric,”

“Stop.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Just stop. I-i can’t tonight. Let’s just try to rest.” Varric begs for a reprieve from all this horror until the fated day on the morrow. Let the morning come and claim all the problems of the dark away for he wanted nothing to do with the night.

She doesn’t argue with him. Not so much as a single syllable is shared between the two again for the rest of the night. The hours go by painfully slow for the writer, as he can find no words to write. When Varric saw thin strands of light creep in through his window he finally crawls into his own bed. Hawke had her back facing him, and Varric wonders if she even managed to fall asleep again.

When the sun rays were full in brightening the room, Hawke got up without making a sound. Varric follows suit having not slept a wink. They get ready for the long day ahead having no idea how it would truly end. If Varric had know he would have apologized then. If he knew what was going to happen to her Varric would have confessed his love and beg her not to go. He would have thrown himself at her and insists that they find a way to cure her. To get rid of the demon. Anything would have been better, than the horror he saw when they faced the demon of nightmares. A monster that Hawke was left behind to face by herself. Some may find that poetic, an abomination left to face a monster alone. To Varric there was nothing that left such a vile taste in his mouth. In the end that taste didn’t matter for he knew he was the only person who knew the truth about Hawke. The entire truth of Edyiss Hawke. He better get started on writing that letter to Carver.


End file.
